I Don’t Want You To Be Upset
To my Family and Friends,
I don't want you to be upset or pretend that I am not in prison. If I have learned anything from this experience it has taught me to face my fears and accept reality. It may seem easier to deal with stressful situations by just pretending they do not exist. We can only pretend for so long though. Our anxieties, fears and stresses are always going to be right where we left them.
During the two years prior to my incarceration I dove in and immersed myself with knowledge about jail and prison. Obviously, I was initially scared to death of coming to prison. By learning and facing my fear of the unknown I eventually came to a place where I was at peace with my fears. When something in life brings up fear it is just the universe pointing us towards our ultimate truth. It's a shame I had to go through so much to find my path in this world, right?
Depression, doubt, low self esteem, and that famous "lost" feeling were constant in my life before this experience. Unfortunately, it took something so tragic for me to work through all of my old feelings. I've never been more sane and happy in my life and I'm sitting in a prison cell, surrounded by con artists, drug addicts, and murderers. Quite humorous don't you think?
Everyday when I wake up I always try to tell myself that, "Today, I will be happy and accept whatever may come my way." Of course I have "my days' where I get upset, down, or angry, but I know that this is NOT permanent and there are so many others in this world who have so much less than I. The support and love from everyone through this has been very humbling.
Yes, I may have lost 5.5 years of my life to this place, but I have gained and will continue to gain more wisdom and insight to this world than most people will in their entire lifetime. I lost 5.5 years, but gained my LIFE back. I gained true happiness and no one can ever take that away from me.